Luck is everything, and it only takes an instant for your life to become your dreams. The fact that my life was changed, altered, and ultimately bettered by covering an MOR Canadian rockers 80's pop tune is a quirk of destiny that gives me faith in the magical comedy that we call existence. This is the short story of how the shit went down.

It was the winter of my discontent. I was supposed to travel to India with my family for Christmas 2000, but was unable to go for personal reasons. Upset but determined to make the most of the situation I invited Jori Hulkkonen to DJ with me at my club (SONA) for a NYE party. Jori had done a mixCD for Turbo and we had cultivated a fine friendship based on ridicule, shared 80's obsessions and ridicule. I had a small home studio that was gathering dust and producing nothing more than frustration; and I threw out the idea (I think I did, although maybe he did) of "making some tracks". I didn't know what I was talking about.  My own creative career had followed a typical early 90's trajectory: houseclubs-ectasy-techno-rave-DJ-travel-raver-promoter-radio-recordstore-nightclub impresario etc... all successful ventures that, at the turn of the millennium, had led me to a position of relative affluence and respect. But the elusive jewel in the crown was production; and this block  was slowly destroying me. Then came the J-fool.

My memory is bad. In school it was perfect, but it's been eroded by a potent cocktail of reefer, airports, timezones, sleeplessness, computers and time. Now, my memory is not to be trusted. I'll try my best: i think the show went ok. Jori probably played a few records I loved, and a lot that iI hated. It was very cold. New Years Day came, I think he was sleeping at my place. I had an MPC, a Nord Modular. an 808 and a JUNO, and a puppy named Uma. Recently, at a small record store in Calgary of all places, I had bought a copy of 'Sweet Dreams' by Miss Kittin & The Hacker. I thought it was incredible. It's hard to imagine now, but at the time the idea of covering a pop song in a techno style seemed interesting. This is before the world went crazy and eclectic. So we decided to try a cover.

I don't remember details of the day. I had no intention of "singing" but I couldn't really do anything else, so that became my job. I also had to walk Uma, make tea, take phone calls, make jokes. Jori did most of the work. We tried a criminally poor cover of "When Doves Cry" which thankfully is lost to all mankind. We did a version of "Small Town Boy" with falsetto singing so bad that if you could distill the sound into a liquid it would be the pure essense of "embarrassing". We did a midi-file based cover of New Years Day, which I still love, that came out on an old Turbo comp. And then (I think it was last) we did Sunglasses At Night. Corey Hart was a Montrealer, it seemed fitting. Our lack of sample memory in the MPC combined with my hesitancy to sing complex notes (or ANY notes for that matter) is what resulted in the "genius" of eliminating the bridge and pre-chorus. I remember Jori thought it was amazing. I didn't really like it. Score one for Zyntherius.
I remember going to my record store , DNA, which was just on the corner and playing it: the first of hundreds of "listen to my new track" sessions..... my first taste of the cold sweat of public testing, and the sheer horror of hearing MY voice on speakers. I hated it.

A few months before that day in studio i had done a mixCD called Mixed Emotions, which is still one of the best things I have ever done: it featured an "electro-funk" cd and my face on the cover. Both attracted the attention of DJ Hell in Munich, who of course at the time was a hero of mine. I had a contact thru licensing a song from them, so I think I sent him the sunglasses demo. He fell in love as well. I still didn't like it.

The rest of the story is like a montage in a movie, albeit a small film, Hell came to montreal, burned dubplates, played 6 times at Love Parade,  SAN got huge in germany, , ended up selling a quarter million, doing TOTP,  and being one of the big "electro" anthems of the period. I got to ride my own coatails  all the way to where i am now. All my dreams came true, including the one about being voted #41 on the DJ top 100 list.

I still marvel at how easily it could’ve NOT happened: My dog stepping on the power switch a little earlier, or Jori getting tired, or the phone ringing at the wrong time. And I cant help but wonder how different my life would have been. While I was never a huge fan of the record I will say that it was a very pure creative effort, in its own way a real punk track: two friends making something without any label or plans or scene......and crucially without any expectations. To spend 90 minutes on that, in a vacuum, and to then feel your entire life altered by the results.... that is the magic of pop culture, and testimony to the awesome transformative power of ....... the Roland Juno-60.

Tiga

When I was a child I dreamt about being a god.
When I grew up I realized I could become one.

In 2000 I noticed that the post for the god of synthesizers was not taken. I didn't even have to apply for the job. No real god would have to do that. I just declared myself as ZYNTHERIUS - the god of synthesizers.

Nowadays I'm feeling much better, but occasionally I still get the urge.
Which is why you should be aware of the wrath of Z and respect the holy Oscillators.

Zyntherius

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We don't reel in that many 20-Million selling artists, so perhaps a little explanation is in order…

Turbo is the coolest label on earth. You know it. We know it. More importantly, Moby knows it.

Here’s the deal… we give ‘I Love to Move in Here’ our deluxe remix treatment in exchange for the vinyl rights to a lost classic from 1995 called 'All That I Need is to be Loved (Dub)'. It's our favorite Moby track ever... tribal-acid perfection... just close your eyes, give it some space, and get ready to play air-bongo... it's a psychedelic masterpiece!

Proxy's Moscow-bass mix is an idiot-proof hand-waving party bomb. 10 on 10. An incredible remix from everybody's favorite Russian... his best yet!!  

Style of Eye AND Popof on the flip side is a coup d'étechno, both of these guys have put out massive records and awesome remixes recently and have deservedly risen to star-status. Style of Eye keeps it minimal-MIT-funky and Popof brings his trademark carnival-brain-melting acid and crossover bassgroove to the party.

Holy Ghost! are amazing. This remix has more musical merit than all the others combined... they sing, play horns, bang drums... a warm analog masterclass from the DFA school of disco... really, truly, fun AND phunky, the only downside is they make everyone else look bad.

Clouded Vision are back with a subtle acid rework, keeping the soft soulfulness of the original and tripping it out nicely into extended hypnotic space-lounge.

Again, All I Need is to be Loved (Dub) is amazing… let go of your stupid mind… get your OM on!!! 

Finally, rounding out the package, Thomas Von Party (me) & Brad Lamborghini produce their FIRST EVER remix, inspired by the soaring intensity and ecstatic ideals of Moby's early music.

Enjoy and as always... your feedback is greatly appreciated! Thomas Von Party

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To celebrate the release of the motion picture ROBOCOP in Russian theaters this spring (Russian version ROBOTKOP!), Turbo presents the latest masterpiece by everyone’s favorite Muscovite prodigy PROXY: 40 seconds / Dance In Dark.

Dance In Dark, long supported by the usual suspects (EBNT2MDJTC) samples quirky Icelandic singer Djork to devastating effect, while 40 Seconds tears a page from global headlines with its scathing indictment of police brutality and government corruption.

2008 will also see the release of Proxy's debut album, so everyone get on board now before we stop taking passengers on the Trans-Cyberian Express.

Tiga

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A collaboration between Swedish producer Jesper Dahlback and The Dove, a figure less man than fun-writ-flesh, Rainer Werner Bassfinder succeeds in painting a lustrous sunstache on the ear’s-lip of its listeners’ hearts.

“Minimal Scarf Fuckers Drown!” embarks on a determined Bathhouse Crawl to Mouth America, finding inspiration in the wine-bearded bravado of dance pioneer Ultimate Fritz B. and the outrageous pizza-party pizzazz of current blog favorites like 128-Kippy P.S.

“With the loving craftsmanship of someone who rolls their own cigarettes, we have been brave enough to tell the ultimate truth. But it has come at a price.” says the Dove. “Using profanity to make a point about scarves is not something I take lightly. However, to obscure the throat – through which we eat, speak, laugh and love – seems like the unfortunate nightmare of an illiterate butcher. He absently scrawls out “BEEF” on rank scraps of our collective unconscious, and we are all the poorer for it.”

B-side “Roses Are Red” explores the profound and often grotesque undercurrents connecting flowers, color, sugar and you.
“It is an honest haunchfunk. Rather like the classic song “That Feels Good” by James Brown,” says the Dove, “If that doesn’t make you want to start making love immediately, you are a fraud and a failure as a human being; a moral weakling in button-fly jeans.”

Finally, the Dove has little patience for anyone who takes umbrage at the record’s artwork. “Everyone has a penis. Deal with it.”

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Dear Turbo fan

The truth is I cant write this one-sheet. I have no weed, and am working on my own album, trapped in DFA 
studios in NYC trying to hit notes I didn't know existed. Writing  turbo one-sheets requires the exact, and delicate proportion of: time, freedom, space, hash and desire. Right now these are all in short supply, so I'll leave it to Von Party to hit you with things like song titles, artist names and other useless facts.

Tiga


O man... tough act to follow. We all know Tiga is the 
undisputed onesheet king so I'll try to take it easy on the jokes and tell you a bit about Popof and the A&R process here at Turbo.

About 20 demo tracks get sent to me every day. Some are ok... most  are incredibly sad... I've tried to come up with a system, make rules for myself based on territory like 'always listen to Belgians' or 'ignore Americans'... but really there's no substitute for just taking the time and actually listening. No matter how bad the name or 
horrid the myspace profile, you never know where you'll find the next Proxy... or the next Tiga!!! haahhahahaa

September '007: I get an email from 'Kaotik System', Popof's manager, with 6 tracks. My intuition tells me it'll be trance and it'll be wack. Demo senders out there, take note: 6 is too many songs to send! This ain't folk music and you're not telling a story... almost every time the more demos in an email, the worse they are. The only exception is when someone sends you their first track ever and asks 
for 'producin assiste'. Anyway... the first 3 were so-so... I gave them each about 5 seconds and thought 'meh'. The fourth one 'Bitchy Groove' sounded pretty dope, but partly because of the name, partly because of the first three being not that great, and partly because I was in 8 ichats and also on the phone, I did what any good A&R person 
would do: I replied telling him how 'cool' the music was but that our 'schedule' was 'crazy busy' and to please send me any new stuff.

Then I just sat back and waited for a bomb to hatch... 4 months later... BAMM!!   They sent The Chomper EP.

I was ecstatic... sometimes records come along that fit in so perfectly to your set that they magically transform the same tracks  you were bored of the week before... that's what The Chomper was for me... alchemy... a new core sound had been crystallized... hyper- minimal-monkey-acid... like a HI-NRG Shonky... but on Turbo... YES!!!

That incredible feeling lasted until I went back and listened to 'Bitchy Groove' again and felt like a complete idiot for not signing it. I listened to the others and it was almost as bad. But in the end it landed us my favorite Popof EP yet... and I LOVE his others.

Trust me, you'll ALL love this EP. It just fits... somewhere in between minimal scarf vibes and full-on fire trance....  yet still accessible to nurave blogfucks!

To wrap it up…Popof is French (AGAIN!!)

There are three tracks... all A-side material... one is called 
'Chiken Flavour'... note we NEVER correct artists' spelling... that's how much we respect their creativity.

Incredibly, he's been putting out records since '96, staying beneath the radar cruising at the speed of trance... and now all of a sudden in a few short months he's topped techno charts and made it into the playlists of a wide range of superstar DJ's from minimalists like Villalobos & Luciano, ex-trance DJ's Sasha and Tiga, and even,  believe-it-or-not, THE top dog himself: Tiesto.

Love from freezing cold Montreal,

Thomas Von Party

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In 1995, I was playing Goa Trance mixed with Funky-breaks. I owned Diesel leather motocross pants and considered it a waste to NOT have  a ring on every finger (thumbs not included). I had slowly veered away from my hard techno roots, and had lost my way. The adrenaline 
fueled glory of 1992 was a distant memory. Records were not "crazy", they were "phat". The whole era makes me nauseous. Anyway, around  this time, my dad was in London, and I asked him to get me some records at Zoom Records (RIP). He came back with Canada’s first copy  of Hardfloor's "Acperience" and a white label that just said "FRED 1". That is the point of this story... FRED 1 changed my life. FRED  was hard techno updated. FRED had a sound I had never heard, super-compressed and insane: the attitude of gabber but with style. I  burned my pants. I smelted my rings. I was reborn and inspired to  change my name (to Tiga). FRED also had another name... Cari Lekebusch.

In the mid-90's a small group of Swedes basically changed techno. They'll never get the props that Detroiters (or now Berliners )get...  but that's cuz Swedes are dorks. And at the center of this revolution  (that also included Adam Beyer, Jesper Dahlback (note to reader, John  Dahlback was 8 at the time), Alexi Delano and Joel Mull) was the 
Godfather... Cari Lekebusch. Most of what I write is bullshit, but  this is all true. Cari's records were so ahead of their time that he  got kinda screwed. He wrote the book on running an indie techno  empire... the graphics, the limited editions, the alter-egos, he did 
it all. For me it was inspirational..... and now more than a decade later its time to pay tribute to a legend.

Fast forward to 2003. I'm in stockholm working on the follow up to  Pleasure From The Bass with Jesper. He gives me a remix he just did  for Cari.... it sounds like Sting but EVEN better. I fall in love. The track was "Shaded", and for years I closed sets with it..... it  never totally fit in, and on paper it SHOULD have sucked: but it  didn't. Not since my own records had male-vocal, sexy, electro-tinged  club music sounded so good.

Now 5 years later, to kick off 2008, we at Turbo are re-introducing a lost gem: first, the unreleased original Jesper demo mix, then new mixes by Compuphonic & Kolombo and new Turbo artist Clouded Vision aka Matt Walsh and Stephen Cook. I swear these mixes are something  special, not your usual remix-filler crap.

Clouded Vision deliver a fantastic new-era late night acid version. I'm not even gonna insult Matt by calling him up-and-coming, he rocks and looks great and is the future of everything....and C&K continue their global domination with one of the best remixes I've ever heard. Cross my heart.

Not so many jokes. I'm saving them up for our compilation.

Tiga

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Lets face it, Israel gets a bad rap. But now that they have salvaged Englands dreams for Euro 2008, we at Turbo felt it was time to jump on the bandwagon.

In Israel, when a boy turns 12, he has to join the military. This is called a Bar Mitzvah, and it is the first step in the grooming process that ultimately allows young Jewish men to control the global economy through an invisible banking empire. But for young Chaim (aka DJ H, aka Silent C, aka Chaimpion Of The Universe) destiny dealt a different set of lush, prog, melodic cards. I must confess, my only real experience with Israelies is on the beaches of Goa, where their reputation is dubious at best: dragon-stick juggling, hard-partying stoners, with cosmic space-trance pants, and post-military abandon. Nothing quite like a bad-tripping AND Mossad-trained 19 year old naked on a motorbike. But over the past few years even the most hardened euro-centric techno snob has been forced to acknowledge the rise of Israel as a purveyor of serious techno... and Chaim and Guy J are two of the leaders of this new school.

I normally do everything I can to avoid talking about the music (just seems so 94) , but in this case, Ill indulge: the Isreality EP features three tracks of modern, serious, melodic trance-dance. Let me remind you we are NOT talking trance as in the genre, but trance as the verb...  If you are human, you WILL trance. It is simple, Chaim, working in his countryside lab outside Tel Aviv, has developed the formula... A formula that has made him a star on Cocoon, Dogtown, Supplemental Facts and GoldenBalls Disks.

First off is the politically charged Dont Panic... A message of intent that political leaders would be wise to heed, and a possible response to last years Panic ep by his arch-nemesis Vhaim (also pronounced Haim), leader of the so called Negev House Mafia. Dont panic, ironically causes... PANIC on the dancefloor. Good panic, some even say Groove-Panic. The only panic we are concerned with, however,  is the panic you feel as you fumble for your credit card and wonder if beatport will run out of copies. Panic. Did I mention panic?

Rue De Charlotte, named after some street, is a 7.00 epic builder that builds into an epic.

But dont panic, cuz on the b-side, Guy J. (Real name Brett Simpson) not to be outdone, drops SKIN, a lush, nu-school trance workout that is fantastic and great.

Turbo is proud of these dance-songs.

Ultimately, Turbo is not a political entity, and we have no agenda... I feel we proved that with 2005s Hamacid 303 EP, and the deleted 1996 techstep explosion of Syria Killa feat MC Da Mass Kuss. This EP is not about Israel, or the Middle East, it is simply about new artists, gorgeous techno music, new directions in global dance culture, and the fact that we assume you are not an anti-semite.

Love from Tel Aviv VIA Montreal

Tiga

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I just made the mistake of re-reading the last press sheet I wrote for the original Fenno Baron ep... man, was that good (the release sheet, not the record), so good in fact that for an instant I considered hanging up my pen and retiring from this crazy, glamorous world of indie-label literary administration. But then I thought... sure, they all know Jori's story, they all know our shared history, everyone knows he's a retarded genius who lives in Turku..... but do they know the history of THESE tracks? no..... YOU don't. Until now! read on....

A1: Crowd, Get Ready To Be Jammed

At first listen, CGRTBJ would seem an obvious tribute to the Summer Of Love, and an updated acid house anthem... but that would be to ignore the powerful political message at the core of this masterpiece. We all try to forget the events of spring 1976..... when Finlands previously thriving jam industry was put to the sword by the streamlined operations, slick marketing and new flavours of Swedens then nascent condiment empire....... but for Finns the "Years of Even Less Flavor" as they are known, scarred a generation. Even now, more than 30 years later, many Finns have never tasted jam or marmalade while nearby Danes are rumored to actually BATHE in it. Jori's decison (the fact that he actually is what is known in Finland as a "no-jam baby" must have fueled his mission) to confront this national blight and to state with pride and confidence that his crowd should "get ready to be jammed", shows an artist at the height of his powers. Not since Marley's "Redemption Song', has a piece of music so galvanized a movement. Interesting to note Jori originally toyed with the idea of writing "Crowd , Get Ready to be Breaded" (referring of course to the current bread-famine in Turku), but when I told him about our plans to release Oliver Interactive's upcoming SchnitzelMan ep, with the lead single "Girl I'll Bread U"... he reconsidered.

B1: Nightwish

Every night in Turku, since the late 1700's, children are taught to make a traditional "nightwish": Dear Giant Reindeer-headed Potato-god, please give me the stamina to outdrink a Swede, give me the steady hand to shoot a Russian in the forest, give me some extra cash so I don't feel ghetto when my Norwegian friends come over, and give me a chilled bottle of Tapaaahklatttivukanenku for when we defeat Denmark in the bandy world cup... and please never let me get a tan or lose my whiskers." Jori manages to capture all this and so much more in his 6 minute techno-cultural expose.

B2: Mr.Drive

Finns love to drive, and pride themselves on their automotive skills. Jori is no exception... and this track is a tribute to his own days as "Mr. Drive" the nickname he acquired for his extremely dangerous pan-European, amphibious runs to Italy to go Italo record shopping in the late 80's. Almost every Italo loving Finn over the age of 30 remembers waiting at the border for "Mr.Drive" to show up on the horizon, fresh back from Rimini armed with the latest Fancy record and much-needed fresh drinking water. Many people in the international techno community were shocked in 2003 when Jori imported the first Plymouth Prowler to Finland. The traditionally reserved, not to mention green, Scandinavian sensibilities were outraged.... but Jori's need to have a Prowler (the only vehicle that can be properly retrofitted to look like a Klingon  "bird of prey", outweighed his country's shock.... that's just how this motherfucker rolls.

love from Turku via Montreal

tiga

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It's not easy to forgive the Vichy collaborator swine for helping Nazis rule Europe for 6 years, and as you might know...we at Turbo are very much against Nazis, in fact we recently refused to release a pretty good demo by a 92 year old "Paraguayan" named Klaus, cuz I just didn't like his vibe (or his track titles: "I Got Gold (Hidden)" and that killer a-side "Caught! (Can I Get A Passport)". But enough about Nazis... I was talking about French people. Ok, so they are annoying as hell, and they hate you, and they talk French... BUT they also make amazing luggage and bread. While working on the plans for my new boat, Thomas Von party kept annoying me with "work" things like "we got more demos" and "there is a fire at the office and I think Oliver is seriously burned, he needs help"....so I was like, "OK, any good demos?". That's when we noticed two alarming trends: first, most "demo-people" expect replies, second we were getting lots of tracks from frogs. Now before you accuse me of being politically correct, let me explain that a) I speak French, b) I live in a French city and c) while I PREFER Reptiles, I have always had a softspot for amphibians (who as you know need all the help they can get maintaining adequate humidity levels in their skin) as well. Anyway, the frogtraxx were dope, so dope in fact that I closed my eyes and pretended they were made by English or German speaking people. When that didn't work I thought "wait a second.....Daft Punk, Voltaire, Gainsbourg, Stomy Bugsy, Ribery... this might just work!!!!!"
Boom, eureka....that my friends is how genius works. enter the mind of me.
Thus, in an instant the "Baguette EP" was born. Sure, I know what you're thinking: last year Subliminal released the "Sourdough" remix ep and it flopped... why should this Bread-themed single be any better? I'll tell you why, if you would just let me talk for once......because it's on TURBO, and as always I PERSONALLY have risked my DJ career and reputation battle-testing these bombs***, and let me share the results:
Aug 8, 2007: Crznkrk Electrotastic Festival in the FRC (Former Republic of Crznkrk) 4.43am.... I "drop" Ghetto Town mid-set and literally the dancefloor catches on fire and the mayor (who is actually pretty fucked up by this point) is forced to assemble the "Fire Riders of Crznkrk" for
The first time in over 300 years (since the Fire of Xbrx in 1678). The party is so "off-the-hook" despite the death toll. Whatever, that's the price you pay to have the 41st best (DJ mag 2007 results) DJ on the planet rock your party.

You want more?
You want things that really happened???
OK, how about this: every night when I feel my DJ set running out of steam, after I play my own hits... and just when I start to feel "oh fuck... it's all over for me, I'm gonna have to go back to running a drum n' bass record shop"...THATS when I drop Les Petits Pilous and boom, all of a sudden it's back to "wow, this is easy......look they are all screaming my name and begging to touch my hand, its pathetic........look that girl is getting trampled... maybe I should smile,"

So, get it? Simple, as always Turbo makes your choices simple:
a) don't buy this, don't play a great set, don't make money and be happy AND all the while support anti-French sentiment, which in turn is spilling over into general tensions between the old and new worlds.....
or:
b) buy this record... make the artists happy, give France back a shred of her dignity, play it at a party, watch the place go nuts, and in the process let me get one step closer to my NetJets membership.
Is that so wrong?
love from montreal
Tiga

*** a NOTE about declaring a track a "bomb". In recent months I have noticed another alarming trend: more and more press-releases (most with a dubious grasp on any known language) are starting to throw around the "bomb" word, declaring their tracks "guaranteed floor fillers" etc....
THEY ARE LYING.
Actually worse than that, they are DELUDED. Let me break it down for you: see, they THINK their tracks are big, because compared to their OTHER releases, they probably are a bit better, maybe an extra reverse snare or something... but they are not BATTLE TESTED. Battle tested is when it works for 60 000 in Argentina AND for a bar mitzvah of 26. OK? and another thing... NEVER TRUST a British press release, they have no idea. No matter what... they NEED to say its "banging, mate", it's like they have to say what it's called, when it comes out and that it is "blinding". I'll tell you what's blinding..... LYING. Lie enough and it will make you blind. Turbo sees true and clear.

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"I think last time I wrote for Chromeo I did something stupid like express it in the form of a number from one to ten. I think I put 8. Ok, fair enough, I was on a truth-kick... so let's keep it up. This record is a motherfucking 10. You hear me?? A 10!!!!!! That's right... "Astral Weeks" = 10,"Screamedelica" =10, "Exile on Main Street" = 10, "Pleasure From The Bass" =10... and now "Bonafied Lovin (and remixes) = 10. I can't express how relaxing it is to do press sheets for a 10. It's like I can just sit back and do nothing. Maybe best to remind you of past 7s, 8's and 9's: like, oh... I don't know... You Gonna Want me (an 8)... Umbrella (a 9) or maybe Arcade Fire "Funeral" (a 7)... you get the picture. See, Chromeo have arrived: not like some forced, hyped up bullshit Menswear vibe... but like a Bonzai tree, nurtured by those who believe and love it for years... growing, maturing, oblivious to the outside world... until, when the world is ready... and the time is right... it (they) BLOOM. Let the summer of '07 be remembered as The Summer of Lovin (Bonafied)....and this single, a testament to their confidence, accomplishment and sound. 3 mixes:
Les Petits Pilous go nuts; chop everything into little pieces and make shit all crazy and hectic and wow... voila... its a hit*** Riot In Belgium bring the sex-club-perfection, that aussie FUN, that Oceanic zest for life... and, crikey... it's a hit******* Jori Hulkkonen just fucking NAILS it.....my favorite remix in ages, pure perfection, HONEST... and... its a hit***********

So, 3 hot hits. one AMAZING original song, and I say SONG cuz its a real song.
I tip my hat to Chromeo, who after years of staying true to their sound... are getting the props they deserve, and making us all very proud.
Love from Montreal
Tiga

*for those under 27 years of age, whose ears actually register that chopped up stuff ****** it should be noted that I am telling the truth, this is a great mix, and really captures that "I was so wasted I fucked a shark" vibe that we have come to know and love ************* I'm not sure if people still believe me when I say I'm telling the truth. But I am in this case, it's really a magical record. Jori has made us so proud."

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As hard as it might be to believe, there was a time when the word TRANCE did NOT mean Dutch guys dressed in white wearing Oakleys..... it also didn't mean Israeli pre-military dragon-stick wielding reefer addicts...... actually, there was a glorious era where trance was a VERB rather than a NOUN....... i'm talking about when you GOT in a trance, at lets say for example: the Golden Eagle in Munich in 81, in a white-tiled sauna-motif discotec, grooving to a 17 minute reel-to reel version of Knights in White satin on your 2nd bottle of poppers while some guy named "Wolfie" takes his modern ballet skills to the "next level".

If that sounds appealing....and I know it does.....then allow me to introduce you to Compuphonic and Kolombo....a throwback to the days of Romance-Trance of the highest order. Deep, sensual (yes, i used the word SENSUAL) electronic grooves so potent that we were forced by a coalition of competitors' labels to ONLY release some of them digitally to restrict their awesome power to trip people out. These tracks make other tracks seem like mindless shallow shit. That includes some of Turbo’s other releases.

Open your mind. Embrace the fact that we all yearn to dance into the fire matrix of eternal love, with our joints firmly linked to space-wires controlled by the master puppeteer of chakra consciousness...... the Mirror-Man, your reflected soul, and bask in the knowledge that only the mind is porous enough to absorb all Light-Grooves, becoming the Mind-Vacuum.

They are also from Belgium.

love from Munich,

Tiga

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Zombie and Tiga made this record and it will wash your brain clear of all witchcraft. With Justice mix as well say goodbye to voodoo spells and envious neighbor’s curses. Prepare to dance you slugs! ZZT

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I don't know much about Duke Dumont. In fact I know nothing, and that's just the way I like it.
See the big problem with having a record label is having to deal with the "ARTISTS". Usually these guys are just dorks who sit at home and spend all their time making music, three-armed pale cyber-weirdos whose idea of a good time is getting new skins for their plug in reverbs so they can make their virtual rack look all "alien". Even worse.... sometimes you get guys who have "ideas" of their own....things like "can we approve artwork?" or "can I write my own bio?" or the incredibly predictable "can I see a statement?". I got so fed up of these money-hungry, megolomaniacal dweebs that in late 2005 I decided to take Turbo Recordings to revolutionary new heights of record label administration... and I laid out The Rules:

1-I don't want to know anything about you (the Artist)...EXCEPT:
    a) your height (I do NOT sign Dwarves or Mini-Men)
    b) your sex...sorry ladies, but trust me sweethearts, Techno is a tough world that requires tough Man-Strength.
    c) Haircolor/hairtexture: corn-rows need not apply... and the same goes for albinos.
    d) ambition level: if you care so much about "money" how about getting a job at a bank, or being a gardener....Turbo has a strict NO Advance, No Royalties, No Statement , No Problems policy. We find that confusing the artist with financial matters only results in growing confidence, artistic independence and an impure heart.

2-I write everything, if I say your an Ultra-right wing Paraguayan with extreme body-odor...you’re just gonna have to trust me.

3-If I make my own record, yours will be bumped to allow room in the release schedule. In fact, if I make my own record, I might even deliberately "re-edit" your record to make it worse to make mine sound better. Again...trust me, I been in this business since 92.

So, with the above in mind... I got the Duke Dumont demo a while back. I had already been impressed by his remix on Wall Of Sound... I loved it. I also heard he won some REMIX competition. Like a Grammy, only not a Grammy. The tracks he sent were amazing... so I sent him our standard application form. Once he waived his copyrights, signed off on all legal rights, and paid the obligatory 175$CDN in administration fees, we moved on to the "personal information section": he JUST made the minimum height cut-off, his hair, while being orange (no bonus) was NOT corn-rowed. While I argued vigorously that I had worked too long and hard building up Turbo to see it go all "Ginger"... Von Party defended the Duke, saying it might show how open-minded we are. When I re-listened to the tracks I decided that it was well worth the risk.

So.... What you now hold in your hand is the debut on Turbo of DUKE DUMONT: the mysterious bad ass from the wrong-side of the Tube, the hardboiled London underground pioneer who once had to EAT a sampler to survive, the future of dance music, and the PAST of the future of dance music.

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I hate fucking Press Releases.
Why?
Because they are filled with lies, lies and bullshit and lies.
So here at Turbo I have pioneered a new style....and I like to call  it the Truth. With that in mind I would like to tell you something about the  record you now hold in your hand......and let's see if you can even HANDLE the
motherfuckin truth!!!!!!

Here goes nothing....

I am really busy and I hate writing this shit. I have my OWN shit to do, like a new mixCD or remixes or cataloging my books or starting my new album.....why do I waste this time on all these other fools on my stupid label....what the fuck am I doing in my basement pouring out my guts, 
all my creative juices for this, for what??? Oh man....ok, Chromeo??? Sure here goes.... Blah blah blah.....funk.... Blah blah....sex....blah blah  jew and arab pals......minneapolis, yada yada, crazy hahahahahahha, clever, 
clever.

New single called TENDERONI......i love the song. Makes me dance. Killer bassline, serious groove. Groove. Funk. Groove. YEAH!

It's my second fave on the album. Mixed by Zdar. It's a funk bomb.  There's that word again. We needed remixes and we spent so much time on it....oh
man, it's SOOOO annoying! Why isn't there just a machine you can drop the track into and it comes out with remixes.I should list all the people that ALMOST did remixes.....

We got Proxy to remix it, cuz he's Russian and on Turbo, and he's the future,and it was a great way to hype him up and save some cash.....BUT that does NOT mean that the mix is a compromise...in fact it is my favorite remix in ages....total rave-pop-bomb. I LOVE it so much......but maybe it could have been louder. I also think this is proxy's first ever remix....a piece of legitimate musical history can be yours for under 10euros.

Then there is the etienne De Crecy mix that is totally "etienne" while still managing to be surprisingly "crecy".

See- the truth is a bitter pill.....you want more? I own Morcheeba records.....still want more......Steph from soulwax thinks Alanis Morisette has "incredible eyes"......you want the truth??? You cant HANDLE THE 
TRUTH.

I think that's it....I don't have to still tell you about Chromeo, because by now you all know.

Nobody is still even reading.

Wah wah wahhhhhhhh
T

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"I don't have much to say about the Dahlbacks.
Jesper is one of my best friends, even though he is a serious pain in the ass.
John made 6 records in the time it took you to read this sentence....and he just turned 11.
Every once in a while they take about 40minutes out of their hectic schedule (John stops making records...to make a record, while Jesper take s a break from the grueling demands of being a condo association manager) to make a record for Turbo. In all honesty i think they give me the tracks they forgot about.....cuz you know if they really LOVED them they would keep them for their own lame labels.
The truth is that i could write some crazy shit about how Jesper built his studio in a hollowed out Panzer that he bought on ebay...... or how John ONLY eats carrots.....or how Jesper and me both raved at Love Parade 93....or even how John can make a track with wood and some string.....I could go into the details of Jesper's mindblowing production career (The Persuader, Lenk, DK7, Murder Was The Bass, and most of my tracks)....or John's own rapidly expanding sonic empire.......BUT i am too tired and bored to keep writing this and i know they don't care and i need to do other things before i go insane.
So, instead i leave you with the music. 3 tracks that prove AGAIN that somehow, against all odds, when you put cousins in a studio they bring out the best in each other. Jespers maverick genius and time-honed wisdom tempers John's youthful passion and naive exuberance.....while John's youngbrain redefines the game and reenergizes the old master. The two cousins locked in a dance that continually blurs the lines between student and teacher....a sonic sibling rivalry.....a musical match with one clear winner....YOU!!!!! and me."

Tiga

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If you don't understand Chromeo it's obvious you are a racist. Only racists and deaf people are immune to the Montreal duo’s funky funk. But because everyone at Turbo can both hear... AND believes in racial harmony and equality for all; we dig chromeo....and are proud, nay 
humbled, to "drop" their first single off the desperately anticipated second album: Fancy Footwork....

love

Tiga

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Hot on the heels of his Grammy nominated single "Sysiphos" , the mysterious d.i.m. returns with an even more good second 12inch on the newly profitable Turbo Recordings. "Airbus Baby" is a lethal techno weapon that must be handled with care, and the first track to sample "crows" since the shamefully underrated "Crow-Dance" by the Dutch rap-metal outfit Ruud Hollywood.

In truth, i don't even know what d.i.m. looks like.... he might even be really hairy....in which case he would never have been signed to my label..... i also don't even know what his voice sounds like, he might be a "low-talker"....for all i know he could be like the German version of Gregory Hines (R.I.P.).... but what i do know is that every few months he sends us a track of dancefloor-napalm that fuses cut-up-nu-rave with Teutonic-tech-wave...all while STILL maintaining a subtle Minimal-flava....AND a Midimal-vibe, and trust me that's not easy to do.

The main cut is "Airbus Baby" an emotional journey through something. I debuted this track at Cocoon Club in Frankfurt and it caused such carnage I thought I might be tried at the International Groove-Crimes Tribunal for

Crimes Against Dancefloor Sanity ; Sven Vath BEGGED me for a copy, but I said no...not YET Sven, these radioactive rythms are still too "unstable" my brother, this dancefloor-dioxyn needs time to settle. I don't think he actually was listening.

After the mega-selling (and often sampled) "Sysiphos" (check 2ManyDJs incredibly relevant mash up" "Sysyphosympathy For The Devil's Haircut") , the braintrust at Turbo knew it would take a special package to follow up......so we needed a b-side. That's when he sent us "Frogger"...... and that's when i said "Ribbbip, Ribbip". This sonic  Amphibious attack can rock land.....AND water based parties. This B-side is PURE "B-Side"!!!!

so that's it....2 amazing tracks of modern techno, by a mysterious genius....all packaged in the new Turbo 2007 artwork, made with love in sunny Montreal, via Germany.....delivered to you almost-free of charge.

love

tiga

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